Thursday, September 23, 2010

Home

My house is under construction. It's actually not a major project, most of our living area is still untouched. But there are a lot of things happening every day that other people are in charge of. Once again I have to work extra hard at letting go of expectations. Water from my shower gushing out of the ceiling downstairs? Can't control it, have to wait for the guys to come. Flooring guys arrive unexpectedly at 7am? Ok, let's get started tearing out some tiles!
I haven't been doing badly with the letting go for once, because I heard so many stories ahead of time, I guess I was more mentally prepared. I am struggling with the invasion of my space, however. I never realized how attached I am to the feeling of home. Maybe it's the privacy, or the quiet spot I can always find, the memories attached to each place, I'm not sure. But I know that I've felt ungrounded. My home is full of noisy dusty strangers and when they're gone, the dust and disarray stay as a reminder.
My yoga routine has been disrupted because I have to get ready so quickly in the morning, but today I rolled out my mat regardless. I stretched and flowed to the tune of crashing and breaking ceramic tiles, but somehow the noise didn't bother me too much. I felt so much better after I was done, and my poor stressed cats seemed to appreciate the return to routine, too.
We are living with chaos, but it will only be a few weeks more. I have to look for the sense of home where I can find it until things are back to normal. My yoga mat was home today, my own practice and my own breath brought me back to stability.


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